If you have not had to deal with a difficult buyer or seller, consider yourself fortunate! Dealing with a difficult buyer or seller in real estate requires a mix of emotional calmness, professionalism, but more importantly, strategy, all of which can be extremely challenging at times.

What is emotional calmness? NOT getting emotional! You just cannot allow yourself to get emotional regardless of the circumstances. As soon as you do, you and the deal will start circling the drain.

How do you remain professional with a difficult buyer or seller? Refer back to emotional calmness!

This leaves us with the strategy of dealing with a difficult buyer or seller. Here are a few things I have learned over the years:

1. Stay calm - Do not mirror their emotions. Do not have a reaction! Always maintain your composure even if they become irrational or aggressive. This is NOT easy to do, but, in most cases, once they have expressed their unhappiness and time passes, they will calm down and even apologize. If you mirror their emotion, it will not end well.
2. Set clear expectations - Define timelines, boundaries and responsibilities early.
3. Document everything - Keep detailed notes! Keep all emails and texts! Use addendums for all changes to prevent disputes.
4. Be a problem solver - Shift focus from confrontation to collaboration. Use phrases such as, "let's work on a solution", or "Here's an idea", or "Tell me how you would solve this situation".
5. Know when to walk away - If someone becomes abusive, unrealistic or an obvious time hog, it's okay to end the relationship professionally.

Difficult Buyers - Common types and how to manage them:

• The Lowballer
  • What to do: Educate them on the market and simply explain why their offer might be rejected. Use data, NOT emotion. Show the risk of losing the deal to another buyer.
• The Buyer That Cannot Pull The Trigger
  • What to do: Use the KISS method! Keep It Stupid Simple! Narrow their choices based on their needs and wants. Create urgency by not showing them too many properties.
• The Know It All
  • What to do: Acknowledge their research or that they were in real estate 20 years ago, then provide your insight based on facts (data). Avoid arguing (remember your emotional calmness). Present yourself as a helpful partner, not a challenger.
• The Unrealistic Buyer
  • What to do: Educate them on what their budget can realistically buy in the current market. Use the facts (data) to set realistic expectations.

Difficult Sellers - Common Types and how to manage them:

• The Overpricer
  • What to do: Provide the facts (data). Give them a detailed comparative market analysis (CMA) to support a realistic price. Days-on-market is a great tool to show overpriced properties vs. accurately priced properties.
• The Emotionally Attached Seller
  • What to do: In your emotional calmness personality, remind them they are selling a product, not memories. Get them excited about their new property to disrupt their emotions.
• The Micromanager
  • What to do: These sellers are very difficult. You need to set boundaries for communication. Create a schedule to update them at consistent specific times to avoid constant interruptions.
• The Blamer
  • What to do: Stay factual! If the property isn't selling, revisit the market data you provided them earlier in the process. Data is factual! Never take blame that isn't yours. Politely show them your notes that you have been taking (because you knew they were going to be difficult when the process started).

Dealing with difficult buyers and sellers are always easier when you use a strategy with emotional calmness!