I've been hearing this phrase again, so let's chat about it. You're showing properties and sending a client homes they may be interested in based on what they (really their lender) says their budget is. You've also discussed what they like in a house; updated countertops, gold finishes, butler's pantry, etc.

All of a sudden, they send you properties that are far below any price you've discussed. Not only that, but these houses have none of the items your clients said they wanted. Now you're confused, but the issue may not be the buyers are dishonest. The issue is we, the agent, might not have asked all of the right questions in the beginning.

Yes, we are "Salespeople", but, remember, we strive to be trusted real estate Advisors. We are not here to "sell", we are here to listen, observe, and guide our clients/friends. When you remember and adopt that mindset, the frustration behind "buyers are liars" will disappear.

Buyers Aren't Lying - They're Processing

Buying a home is an emotional process for most. Initially, they think they want a specific neighborhood, price range, home style, and features. Once they begin touring homes, emotions enter the equation. They start reacting to how a home feels - natural lighting, the flow and energy, and lifestyle visions. Suddenly, priorities shift. From a traditional sales perspective, this looks inconsistent. From our perspective (based on the Ninja Selling principle), it's simply part of the buyer's journey.  

The Problem With the "Buyers Are Liars" Mindset

We emphasize building long-term relationships rooted in trust and service. Labeling buyers as "liars" creates the exact opposite dynamic. When agents adopt this mindset, they often become impatient or defensive when buyers change a direction. Clients can feel that. When they feel the energy change, they can become less transparent and don't communicate as much.

Focus on Curiosity Instead of Control

Instead of trying to control the process, seek to understand the client more deeply. Instead of just asking, "How many bedrooms do you need?", "What's your budget?", "Which neighborhood do you want?", also ask questions like: "Why is moving important right now?", "What would your ideal lifestyle look like?", "How do you want your next home to feel?", "What problem are you hoping this move solves?". These questions uncover motivation instead of surface preferences. And motivation is far more stable than features.

Watch Their Behavior More Than Words

A buyer may say they only want a newer home, but repeatedly light up when walking into charming older properties. Instead of correcting them or becoming frustrated, notice the pattern. The buyer is revealing the truth emotionally before they can articulate it logically. This is why your buyer's original "wants" list, will change. The first consultation is only the beginning!

Approaching Buyer Changes

When buyers suddenly shift direction, don't think "They wasted my time." Instead, think: "Interesting. What changed for them?" That small mental shift changes everything. Instead of reacting emotionally, become curious: "What are you seeing now that you didn't expect?", "What's becoming more important to you?", "What feels different after seeing homes in person?". This keeps rapport strong while helping clients gain clarity.

Final Thought

Buyers are not usually lying. They are processing emotions, discovering priorities, managing fears, and trying to make one of the biggest decisions of their lives. The agents who succeed long term are not the ones who force certainty early. They are the ones who listen deeply, remain curious, remove pressure, and guide clients with patience and professionalism. They, and we, are Ninjas!!!